The 5 Rudest Things to Ask Guests to Bring, According to Etiquette Experts

In the realm of hosting and entertaining, the line between being a gracious host and unintentionally offending guests can sometimes be surprisingly thin.

While it’s commonplace for hosts to ask guests to contribute to gatherings in various ways, certain requests can cross the line of good taste and hospitality. Etiquette experts weigh in on what not to ask your guests to bring to your next social event.

1. Expensive Items:

Asking guests to bring items that are expensive or luxurious can put them in an uncomfortable position, especially if they’re on a tight budget.

This includes high-end wines, gourmet foods, or costly decorations. It’s important to be considerate of everyone’s financial situation.

2. Complete Meals:

While potlucks are an exception, asking a guest to bring a complete meal for everyone is a major faux pas.

It shifts the responsibility of the host to the guest, which can be both inconvenient and impolite. A small side dish or a dessert is usually more appropriate.

3. Personal Items:

Requesting personal items like slippers, chairs, or utensils can be off-putting. It gives the impression that the host is unprepared or unwilling to provide the basic comforts for their guests. A host should ensure that their home is adequately equipped for the number of attendees.

4. Specific Decorations:

While it’s okay to have a theme, asking guests to bring specific decorations that adhere to it can be demanding. This not only adds to their expense but also their to-do list. If a theme is important, the host should take on the responsibility of decorating.

5. Gifts for the Host:

While bringing a host or hostess gift is a polite gesture, explicitly asking for one is considered rude. It can come across as self-serving and diminishes the voluntary and thoughtful nature of gift-giving.


The essence of being a good host lies in making your guests feel comfortable and welcomed, not burdened.

While it’s perfectly fine to ask for a little help, always remember to keep your requests reasonable and considerate.

A successful gathering is one where everyone, including the host, can enjoy themselves without any undue pressure or expectations.

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